Twitter reposts from May 24, 2009 for Thetis.
Mr Dog, or Herr Doktor Hund, as he wants to be adressed henceforth, has spent the day pondering cute fur girls and the Big Questions.
Attempting to solve the riddle of life, and to attract attention from fawning fans (ladies, ladies!!), Der Doktor Hund is now ready to…
…present to the world his new art of canine science: canineosophy. It’s very spriritual–discover your inner chew bone, folks–and complex.
Der Doktor Hund aims at reforming all aspects of life in a canine-spiritual way, enabling dog souls to reincanineate in ever higher forms.
It’s all about evolving as canines. The best canine souls, today, are born in the furry vessels of rat-catching lap-dogs.
Then there are dogs who look like dogs but are cats in dog form. Well, let’s forget them. Except that horrid Shi-tzu in the neighbourhood.
It’s an elaborate plan, don’t expect all dogs to understand it immediately. There’ll be hostility. The dog world can’t handle the truth.Yet.
Every aspect of life must be ensouled, or as Der Herr Doktor says, endogged. We have the pee-on-pee painting, e g, the endogged version of…
…spiritual art. It’s the canine soul element expressing itself on walls, bus-stops etc, all over town. Endogging the city, as we say.
There’s the special art of movement, the chase-the-imaginary-bunny movement. It speaks to the inner core of Dog Soul and the supersensible…
rat-like beings that inhabit the world. These can be experienced more directly by the initiated dog, who has advanced to a higher level…
…canine consciousness. The dog who has–through the application of canine science practice–developed a truly Spiritual Nose.
Tailwags, please. Der Doktor Herr Hund proposes that all 2-leggeds are forcibly subjected to caninosophical medical practices.
(To teach them one thing or two about the evils of vets, immunization shots, trimming of claws, etc.)
Puppies can be admitted to caninosophical puppy schools. (Informally known as indogtination centres.) There pups will learn to imitate…
…Der Doktor Herr Hund. It’s good for pups to be in awe of a real master, who has special canine insights, who already has the Nose…
There’s only one way to sing: like the siren of the fire truck. Everything else is abomination.
A clairvoyant canine guru or just a random crackpot… well, he does have a knack for attracting followers.
Yours for Spiritual Nose Wisdom,
Mr Dr Dog
Edit: What could suit this post better than to be accompanied by a phot of the icon, the guru, the spiritual master himself?
Look up to Mr Dog and sense his spiritual superiority!
Edit, Jan 1, 2009: Additional early canineosophy, posted on another blog (see).
truths mumsnet doesn’t want people to see
We were discussing the spiritual value of body parts. Mr Dog jumped in to explain canineosophical viewpoint to the mums. The thread has been deleted from mumsnet, but at the time it was active, somebody quoted mr Dog in an email, thus his wisdom hasn’t been lost, even though mumsnet clearly can’t be trusted to preserve it!
My dog says the nose is the most spiritual body part of all! Steiner was completely wrong! In fact, the nose is the earthly evidence of a Dog in heaven. Obey the Nose! Revere the Nose! The Nose rules!
context: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/43/467918?pg=22 (now defunct, but I ought to have the whole thread somewhere, it ought to be made available because it was really very funny.)