Mr Dog accidentally happens upon a link to the online community called ‘Mothering’. Someone over there claims anthropomorphy is a cult (with very weird beliefs, I can tell you). Mr Dog concurs, and offers a better alternative: canineosophy, which is sometimes misnamed canineomorphy — nothing wrong with this… of course! ‘Better to morph into a dog than into a human’, as mr Dog, my guru, wisely puts it… and he then hints, unobtrusively, at a future possibility of state-funded canineosophy schools, which will educate nose, tails and tummies. Human puppies may be admitted after a thorough vetting process.


One thought on “anthropomorphy

  1. Der Herr Doktor Dog calls upon the Canineosophical Society’s members all over the world to convene for an important conference.

    ‘Dear Furry Friends’, he solemnly says after having climbed the podium, ‘current development has brought us here today to address a topic of utmost importance. Evil forces are at work in the world today. I’m talking about the serious problem of the dreadful and dangerous cult of Anthropomorphy. — Yes the word cult… have you noticed that if you take away the ‘ul’ and replace those letters with an ‘a’… yeah, I told you, evil forces… now, where was I?… cats… food nom nom… — Sorry I lost track… — Well, the horrible cult of anthropomorphy. It has come to my attention that anthropomorphy practices very insidious brainwashing techniques. Some dogs who’ve become victims, who have come under the spell of the cult, they have… begin to think not like dogs anymore but like HUMANS! And they don’t even realize it! “I still have a free smell”, they say. But they don’t. They’ve lost their ability to smell freely. I’m sure you all see the dangers, and how it is urgent that we battle this disease of anthropomorphy. We need to indogtrinate our puppies against it. We need to…’

    Mr Dog is interrupted by a trojan bunny hopping into the conference hall. Chaos erupts when enemy cats exit a hidden opening on the bunny. The guards — a couple of rottweilers — guickly eat the cats, and order is restored. Not a hair on mr Dog’s fur is disrupted, thanks to their sagacious intervention. This will later be known, in the history of the canineosophical movement, as the assassination attempt.

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