the very model of a modern anthroposophist

Tom Mellett kindly offered me the opportunity to publish this masterpiece. Inspired by Thetis and his own newly instated Misanthroposophical Society. I don’t yet know which eurythmy movements would be appropriate for the performance, but here it goes. By Tom:

The Very Model of a Modern Anthroposophist

Ladies and gentlemen of the Steiner Internet Universe!

I humbly offer you now the opening lyrics of an anthroposophical song parody that I have composed. Again, with all bashfulness and modesty, I must say that it is a song parody of the deepest and most profound “World Historical Significance” (WHS) in the entire evolutionary development of humanity in the modern world to date. Why is this event of such deep WHS? Because the original song that I have parodied was performed at its New York City premiere on Broadway in 1879, yes, indeed, 1879 AD, in the very same year that the guiding spirit of anthroposophy, the Archangel Mi-cha-el was promoted from his hierarchical level of Archangel to the next level office of Archai or Time Spirit, i.e. Zeitgeist.

The music for the original song was created by the British composer of Irish-Italian descent, Sir Arthur Seymour Sullivan (1842–1900) and the lyrics created by famed librettist, Sir William Schwenck Gilbert (1836–1911).

The song I have parodied is from their most popular opera “The Pirates of Penzance.”

The song itself is entitled “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.”

And at this point, my dear friends, I bid you to familiarize yourselves with the original song by clicking on the three links I provide for you here. Once you master the rhythm and cadence of the original you will be prepared to sing my version.

YouTube Video of an actual stage performance
YouTube video with lyrics printed to sing along

Typed out lyrics

Now you are prepared to enjoy and sing yourselves my parody which is entitled:

“I am the Very Model of a Modern Anthroposophist.”

(NOTA BENE: At this point I have only composed 7 verses and others are sure to follow. Therefore I welcome your comments and suggestions with keywords for other verses I can compose. Over time, I predict that this parody may extend in length perhaps to a full one act opera, indeed perhaps as long as Steiner’s favorite epic poem, the Finnish Kalevala. And once I assemble a good chorus, we will record it for YouTube)

“I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST.”
Music composed by A.S. Sullivan, original lyrics by W.S. Gilbert,
Parodied lyrics of deepest WHS by Tom Mellett

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist,
I’ve information mineral, etheric, astral, egoist.
Atlantis and Lemuria, the Mystery of Golgotha,
With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

CHORUS:
Atlantis and Lemuria, the Mystery of Golgotha,
With Ahriman and Lucifer, the science of the spiritual.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I visit Dornach every year as if it were the Vatican
The Goetheanum is my temple though I am American
I don’t know that much German but I want to keep on learnin’
And my heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

CHORUS:
He doesn’t know much German but he wants to keep on learnin’
And his heart is really yearnin’ knowin’ Steiner is returnin’.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I want to save the world from Ahriman and his materialism
But then I get so caught up in my Luciferic egotism
I never know what I should do, the feelings that I should imbue
What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? I have no clue!

CHORUS:
He never knows what he should do, the feelings that he should imbue
What Steiner says, it must be true. The Christ Impulse? He has no clue!
In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist
He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I see the elementals in the forest when I meditate
The gnomes and sylphs and undines, salamanders in the aggregate.
I don’t know what they want of me, this might be just be insanity
But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

CHORUS:
I don’t know what they want of me, this might be just be insanity
But Steiner teaches me to see behind the veil of reality.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
I’ve done the exercises to attain my equanimity
But when a critic comes around in any close proximity
I hesitate and vacillate, I complicate and obfuscate
Deny that Steiner said it — hey, that’s all I can communicate.

CHORUS:
He hesitates and vacillates, he complicates and obfuscates
Denies that Steiner said it — hey, that’s all he can communicate.
In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist,
He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
Philosophy of Freedom is a book I’ve never, ever read
To think about my thinking makes me sick and achy in the head
I’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee
Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

CHORUS:
He’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee
Than ever have to read a book about epistemology.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
[slower tempo here, getting wistful]

The three-fold nature of the human being is a mystery
And so are all the moves and gestures that I make eurythmically. . . .
The critics tell me Steiner is a madman and a racist, too.
His medicine is quackery, his claims of science just woo woo. . . .
But all I care about is finding which of four’s my temperament,
So I can know my destiny and finally reach enlightenment . . .

[back to quick tempo for finale]

I don’t know if I’m sanguine or choleric, melancholic
So I must be a phlegmatic ‘cause I am a chocoholic.

CHORUS:
He doesn’t know if sanguine or choleric, melancholic
So he must be a phlegmatic ‘cause he is a chocoholic.

MODERN ANTHROPOSOPHIST:
In short in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist
I am the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters mineral, etheric, astral, egoist
He is the very model of a modern Anthroposophist.

13 thoughts on “the very model of a modern anthroposophist

  1. Very good! Perhaps it would be good to elaborate some on that they often say that Steiner said both bad and good things to sound reasonable (although they still think it’s important to reflect on what he said, even when it’s just cryptic gibberish). Also it seems they often don’t want to call themselves anthroposophists. Don’t know why though, perhaps to appear as free thinkers?

    Also perhaps more on their behavior as a stealth religion, especially in Waldorf contexts when they use vague positive terms to cover their own strange ideas which they don’t inform any outsider about. Maybe also something about their terrible education and bad writing skills. I think it would be a bit sharper if it mentioned these behaviors, although I realize it’s hard to come up with fitting rhymes and such in the first place.

    The line “He’d rather reincarnate as a woman or a refugee” is very good!

    I especially like this since I’ve learned about this song recently due to a video about climate denialist Lord Monckton.

  2. highest praise – you made my teenage son laugh. Good grief man, where have you been hiding your talent as a librettist? But I do agree with devadatta – the terrible education is worth a separate operetta.

  3. Ah, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
    In the immortal curtain call words of George M. Cohan:
    “Me muddah tanks ya! Me Faddah tanks ya, Me sistah tanks ya. But most of all, I tank ya!”

    And Thetis, yes, that is the highest praise coming from a teen-aged boy — and from one who is NOT a Waldorf student. Actually, I honed my own skills as a parodist from my experience teaching high school, both Waldorf and non-Waldorf.

    As for the Waldorf operetta, that’s exactly what is needed! In fact, we could go grade-by-grade, with the appropriate buzz words for each age and class and intersperse it with verses about the anthroposophy behind it. Good idea!

    Michael Eggert just put the song up on his German Egoisten blog and already I have a request from Murat Tchundyk, the spiritual leader of Uribistan, to use the song for his Uribi Men’s Choir. (I have been the Honorary Uribi Ambassador to Hollywood for the last 3 years.)
    http://egoistenblog.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-am-very-model-of-modern.html#comments

    And now look at this YouTube video which has really raised the bar for me as far as production values go. Barack Obama stars in: “I am the very Model of a Modern US President.”
    http://www.youtube.com/user/ronniebutlerjr
    Man, if only I could get a group like that together to perform at the Goetheanum!

  4. ‘Maybe also something about their terrible education and bad writing skills.’

    I think if waldorf schools had more teachers who could write and spell, we wouldn’t see as much shitty writing from former waldorf students. (On the Swedish skeptics’ forum, one after the other they appear — they all write like they were still in first grade… only worse because it’s not childlike in a way that would excuse it. It’s awful. And sad. Even I am at loss at understanding how this can be. At least the waldorf teachers in my days were decently literate. These days I wonder if they are. I suspect not.)

    Tom actually taught science and maths — right? — but obviously he could have taught creative writing.

    ‘As for the Waldorf operetta, that’s exactly what is needed! In fact, we could go grade-by-grade, with the appropriate buzz words for each age and class and intersperse it with verses about the anthroposophy behind it. Good idea!’

    Indeed!

  5. Dearest luvely fränds!
    Thetis you donta understanda? I donta understanda you what is a meerkat?
    His Holine$$
    Murat Joy Tchundyk
    Bad writing skills? At leasta we tryx to write!!!

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