to järna with love (xi)

When I posted my Järna photos i to ix in August of 2009, I had never even noticed this one. It’s probably nothing but a fluke I hadn’t tossed it out. I don’t even remember it; I don’t remember taking any pictures like this one. Which is an indication I definitely didn’t like it. Maybe because it’s too light or there are too many different things going on in it (despite the lack of people). Now I really do like it; this often happens, actually, a few months later a rejected photo suddenly seems… interesting. Particularly if I cannot remember shooting it. Well, I know from the environment that I shot it while waiting for my sandwich at the café. And I remembered the other photos from the same occasion, shot while waiting. This one, though, must have slipped by my consciousness without registering.

to järna with love (x)

I remember a discussion over at the waldorf critics list years ago; I probably couldn’t locate it again even if I tried, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately…). It was about how we (or I), when displaying anthroposophical environments or contexts, risk conveying an impression of beauty only — of superficial beauty, of the nice stuff, selling anthroposophy once again (like anthroposophists tend to do) for what it is not rather than for what it is. The superficial side of it conceals the supposedly darker interior, the more obscure corners, of anthroposophy (whatever those are, but let’s forget this question for a moment). We may be aware of those, but fail to convey them. At that moment, at least. It is, after all, more pleasant to post nice pictures. I’m considering these aspects again, as I’ve got loads of more photos from Järna, and I stopped posting them for one reason or another (I think I was temporarily angrier, temporarily more resentful). And I post my photos from the biodynamic gardens at Rosendal all the time, because that’s where I often take walks and because I genuinely like the place.

It’s a difficult dilemma: does one end up promoting the very thing one is also criticizing? I’m leaning towards a preference for ignoring such considerations all together. I don’t think they matter to me at all. I still love all those photos, whatever they mean to others. To those who cannot abide anything anthroposophical, I’ll be an apologist. I’ll be siding with the ‘enemy’ if that’s what it takes (for my peace of mind, it may be easier if that’s what some people think). To anthroposophists, on the other hand, there’s no doubt: I don’t understand anthroposophy, no matter how much (or little) I know. So I’m perpetually lost in between. It may be the best place to be. It’s better to be confused than to have settled one’s mind, I like to believe.

These were pictures taken by a staunch materialist. I don’t understand a thing. Remember that. Continue reading “to järna with love (x)”